ALIENS I’ll admit I can be a little bat-shit crazy at times, but I’ve never been that guy on the street corner that people look at and say, “didn’t that sign say the end of the world would be in the year 2000, now it’s 2012… whatever. Well give his crazy-ass some Arby’s and three dollars.” If the world does end with in my lifetime, I just hope it’s not by Aliens. I’m not ready for Aliens. I have enough to worry about as it is and Aliens would only complicate things even more than they already are. I would find myself complaining to someone two years after the Aliens show up and all I would hear is, “it could be worse, you could be on that ship with those Aliens!”
My view about Aliens is a little indecisive. It’s like asking me to pick between Rachael McAdams or Natalie Portman as best actress ever, I could never decide. Ok, I believe there is life out there somewhere and maybe even alternate Universes if particles could actually change their charges. The fact is that, even if Aliens found a way to travel at the speed of light… they’d have to live like 4 lives to get here from the nearest star. So basically if they want to live long enough to get back from where ever the hell they’re coming from, they would have to warp through space, which I believe is only possible in Star Wars. CRAP! I think I just lost half of my readers somewhere, sorry… I promise there won’t be much thinking in any of my other blogs.
There probably is life on another planet even in our solar system, maybe microbes or something. I just don’t necessarily believe that Aliens have come to earth and abducted people. My boyfriend Mike feels the complete opposite. At night we have to leave the door closed, not because of robbers breaking into the house or even because of the weird noise the toilet makes in the bathroom, it’s because he thinks aliens will walk through the door and take him while he is sleeping. If they ever do, I’d never know about it… I sleep like a rock. It didn’t use to be like this, when we first started seeing each other he would be able to sleep in my apartment without my door closed, locked, and dresser blocking any intruders. That soon changed after he watched the Fourth Kind. Thanks to Universal Pictures there is now some related reason I’m not allowed to have the ceiling fan on when I sleep because he wants to be able to hear the ship coming!
It’s the film industries fault for so many people have such paranoia! The root of our problems is Stephen Spielberg; the man is connected to the government in some way and gets inside info on Alien things. I have to be honest; I’m not a fan of Spielberg. His movies are always EXTREMELY predictable and the aliens often look like a triceratops mixed with E.T. Why does he even show the Aliens in his movies, they end up looking ridiculous and all the credibility is lost in the end? I find myself saying, “People are running from those things? I’d be laughing in their faces… after all, they die with oxygen or water or something else extremely simple!” Don’t get me started on Transformers; at least this Director gives me awesome explosions! If anything Alien related in cinema or television has been a hit with me, it would be the X-Files. I love the X-Files. Molder was SOO hot; there is something about a guy whose sister got abducted by aliens than spends the rest of his life trying to prove they are real. Molder makes me all giddy, about as much as cute def guys.
I was on a trip to see Avenged Sevenfold (heavy metal band) in Albuquerque, New Mexico so my friends and I stopped at Roswell on the way. After listening to me sing for about three hours, they were ready to sprint out of the car and get abducted to anywhere that glass-breaking screeching didn’t exist. We stopped by the alright museum the enormously small town had and experienced nothing. There wasn’t anything to see and I was not made a believer, if anything this town only validated my belief that Aliens do not exist. We did, however, go to this dinner shaped like a space ship and the burgers were out of this world.
I wish I could tell of some person I know who has been abducted or even an event where I was like, “whoa, that was like a space rainbow” but I only know of earth rainbows. My grandfather is practically from another world, he is the only person I know that avidly protests any belief in the holocaust. He believes that we never got to the moon, that it was all filmed in a warehouse. He also believes that Aliens created the earth. I lived with my grandfather for quite a time in High School and he never liked how often I went to church events. Looking back, I do wish I would have actually wasted my time on something a little more productive than the local Baptist church. My grandfather’s idea is that Aliens created the Universe and everything in it, especially the Earth and also believed they helped the Egyptians build the pyramids. If you ask me, he watched a little too much of the History Channel. If it is all a government conspiracy and there really are aliens out there than I’ll totally jump on board, as long as all my rights to complain aren’t at stake. For now though, Aliens are much like the idea of God to me, I’ll believe it when I see some concrete evidence, like some video footage of Jesus turning one piece of bread into like 9 loaves, with no help from Mel Gibson!
Good job Jordan,,,you need to go on a rant about the cat hoarding!
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