I’m constantly preparing myself for the Zombies to attack. In the past I would keep a bag in my car that had extra clothes, a wooden stake, and an extra credit card in it in case of emergencies. Looking back, the credit card probably wouldn’t have come in handy if Zombies did actually ever attack.
There are different types of Zombies and it all depends on if you’re in the U.S. or not. If you’re in the U.S. the Zombies are going to be stupid and slow, mainly because the people who became these Zombies most likely had horrible health care and were too overweight to ever run at a decent speed in the first place. Another type would be the U.K. Zombies, and depending on where you’re at and if you find the situation comical, they tend to be more vicious and terrorizing. These zombies in the U.K. are pissed off, they’ve been stuck with the Queen of England prancing around like a circus side show and now they have to put up with the royal wedding. Who cares about the Price of England and this fore-head he’s married? If I had it my way, they would have both turned into zombies on their wedding day, but only her at first. I can imagine the Prince leaning in for the kiss; she lifts her veil and presto! ZOMBIE BRIDE! She takes a bite out of his throat and snaps the Priest in two. There’s no end to the madness after that. Once you get to the Queen, the rest of the world is screwed. Their wedding would have been front page news, everywhere you look the news is reminding every man, woman, and child that zombies can get married but gay people can’t legally get married.
Some people make fun, some point fingers, some are just plain rude, but you can’t listen to the names that people call you. Like, “hey you tard!” “Zombies don’t exist!” Who are these people, and where have they been for the last 80 years? Haven’t they heard of WWII or the Cold War? Crazy biological warfare has been invented, and if ants can become zombies it’s not a far cry to think that the government won’t come up with someway to make human zombies for mind control purposes. Once these Zombies are created, you have to protect yourself.
Step one would obviously be to panic. Yes, you need to panic immediately and get it out of your system. If zombies are attacking it will be on YouTube steaming within the first few attacks so you’ll probably be safe for a little while, then take your bedroom and closet doors off the hinges and break the wood up so that you may board up the windows. Water is absolutely the most important necessity you will need to survive. You have a shower or bath tub… fill every container up with water as soon as possible. About 30 gallons of water will fit under a queen size bed. Weapons! Get some! It doesn’t matter what kind, just get some wooden stakes or a gun but be sure to always have some kind of weapon that you won’t run out of. A gun runs out of bullets and then becomes useless; make sure you have some sort of machete or laser gun depending on how far in the future this is. If you’ve read this and the Zombies do attack, come back to my blog. In the beginning the internet will not be lost; I will give directions to my Zombie Fortress. Now let me explain this to you.
In a world full of Zombies, many people will try to go where they feel it is “safe,” to places that have not been contaminated. This is mistake number one, when you travel long distances you put yourself and others at risk. Think about it, there’s always that one dumbass that has got to be in charge, and there are always people on the way that will steal from you and put you in harms way so that they have the upper hand. This is exactly why I am going to have a sustainable home no more than 100 miles outside of Austin. This home will be made out of concrete and steel. It will run on solar energy and have a system where rain water will be collected from the roof into a system that stores and provides an irrigation system for the garden and chickens that will be located in the court yard of this facility. The facility will be monitored by cameras and will have mines set up out side of the complex to kill any roaming zombies and also trip wires that will set alarms off. This is a great idea founded in the movie 28 days later. The balconies of this building will have gun torrents, and the basement will have a safe room that has a small hole one can open to shoot through and also it will have medical aid, non perishable food and access to the water supply along with security camera access. This would be the ideal spot if Zombies were to attack, at some point these mangy bodies will decay and the zombies will die within time, but until then one must fight them off.
Keep your eyes peeled for more zombie blogs, I could go on for days about this issue. Remember, remember, a real zombie attack is impending, it’s important to be prepared!
